i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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