I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just tell him i said nine months
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
