would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize