So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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