Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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