No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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