I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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