My brain says no but my pants say off.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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