dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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