There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
