I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
