just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
look no pants
Betty ford says i'm here all night
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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