I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
