normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
