fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
