Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
