let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
