I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
