she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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