Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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