My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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