she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
