ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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