I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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