walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize