dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize