Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
