How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize