I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
