If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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