so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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