# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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