So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
