Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize