wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
