Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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