but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
