she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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