i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
