i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
do nipples grow back?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
