Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The struggles of a small town man whore
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
