Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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