I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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