i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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