She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
