Just fell off a train. Bad.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
