Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
