ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
All I want is dick and wine.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
