just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
