So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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