You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
