yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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