So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
