So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
