He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
