So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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