Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
