Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
