I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
