This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize