smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
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Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
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ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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