It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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