Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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