when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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